A couple of years ago when this image came to me, I received it like every other image in the #bluewoman series as one that requires questioning and unlearning but without need for immediate understanding so I painted her anyway and hope she’ll reveal more later.

Fast-forward March 2016 on the floor of the Senate of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, a bill for gender equality was presented by a female senator and my surprise is not because the bill was quashed at the very minute BUT that it wouldn’t even be granted a second reading and also because not a single male spoke FOR it on a floor that has 107 ( only 7 are women ). Where were the so called liberal western state senators, the elites of the south , open minded mid states and the new generations of the north?! All of a sudden everyone aligned and the wind blew to reveal the chicken’s anus.

Now I understand this image. The cock is her male, he appears as one with interest in her aims and one willing to give as much RESOURCES to push her forward towards fulfilling goals (I just understood the action of his tail) but there is the important detail of him standing on her BACK as there’s a difference if it was her shoulder. How does he explain standing on her back and directly making her crawl instead of walking? They’re heading in the same direction but it looks as though she’s bearing his weight. What does RELIGION and CULTURE say of this apparition? Her face is calm, he looks delighted and they remain joined in parts despite this imbalance. The most important detail and the last one is the globe-like golden ball in her hand. It is said that God has got the world in His hand, what has this woman got in her hand?

Knowledge is the pearl of human existence. In fear, I say to man ”Ignore truth; it causes what brings pain to your soul…CHANGE. I am grieved because knowledge doesn’t bring freedom; it’s a systemic way of imprisoning the reasoning of man. We clamor freedom. In haste I reason, in fear I destroy. Blank, white, razor, sharp, how does this function? In-depth, miscarriage, lack of age, fear of reasoning, how does these function? I know not. My ace is not clear; I’m imprisoned within my own self.

Do you have a say? No. Can I object? Yes. Does mystery abound? Incarceration, displeased, towel and warmth. Yet my son, I say to you there’s a place beyond the horizon; it’s fruitful but not fertile. Inconsistency, baseless, doesn’t seem right, symmetry in lineage and you still believe because all you have is faith. Don’t promise, don’t deliver, it won’t change the end. Lies, institutions, craze, beginning of the end. I will not break, again I will stand because there’s a tomorrow for my child; the only one I’m yet to know.

I really don’t know a thing, I just hold on. Faith, It’s striped, it’s checked and it all doesn’t come together but it doesn’t lack meaning. The idea of learning is confusing because understanding is relative. You’ll ask; why must I know? It is called reasoning my dear. You can’t come along because you fear that you don’t know. How does this grow into what they intend? Why will it not kill and destroy? You don’t know a thing. I can’t go on because I tire. I’ll need sleep so my thoughts can still convey meaning.

Hmmm, like I really meant it. It doesn’t have to, I really don’t bother. We are not liberated we only claim to be and our ignorance knows no bounds. Spew it, I say so. If anyone asks, please point in my direction. I never owe, I only borrow. Lending never really occurs but I’ll give it all my best. You have been saying the same things and the same beliefs over the years don’t heal an unstable mind.

Don’t fear it, let it go. Free the image that besets you. It can’t heal you and it will only destroy with much pain. Does this makes the sense you seek; reason, it lies within.

My mind races, my fears are unknown (so it seems) I remember people of similar experiences, van Gogh, Socrates, were they heard? Or was their time and efforts ignored? To pass hope to the coming, to place base on what is unbecoming, I still lack understanding of these things. People move in a range with seemingly impossible direction. Do they do this on impulse? Are they aware of consequences? Is there a chance for reformation of purpose? Are we all aware and in this together?

Are these questions or statements? Who would fear that which is coming without much observance and pure discrimination of thoughts? Gather yourself together and stop sounding unbecoming. Stay let it rain, that which is within is aspiring a change for all. You can’t effect what you lack belief in, it doesn’t happen when convictions are lacking. Spew it out if it doesn’t do you good, it becomes cancerous to the few that lies remaining in there. When it makes sense it’s called organized when it’s far from what they know, it none organized.

Who says what? And who says not? My fears are insurmountable, I can’t overcome, and it is innate, opaque in clarity. These entire still doesn’t come together as one. Its strength doesn’t lie in its division. Thinking hard plus thinking at all, is not the same thing. We fear the unknown yet we must know it. Does it have direction? You ask, will it wear off with time? You suggest, will it bring pain and sorrow? You know. Yet you go ahead because you are convicted to. Don’t fear it, it can’t take you on. You are way ahead of their time. Will they say stop? I bet they will. Do they know these things?

No. I’ll advice when you get there. Call me, it will be only you; alone without understanding. YOU FEEL DESERTED. Do I care? Don’t trust me. Is it in you? I’ll say yes. I only believe in my within and that’s all you’ll get. Fear not. Will you have your doubts? It’s only normal to the weaklings. Its unproductive, it leads nowhere, the end will justify and it’s near. It is only pure belief. If you know, say so and if you don’t, let it go. It will all come back; there’s time. No lack of opportunities. I’m not right; it has nothing to do with me. It only takes things, actions, events and it’s done. I won’t be there. Enough, of what? I can’t hear a thing and then we all go blank again just like it was. It is well.